7

And the yellow flower of the evergreen, usher in a new season.

A season of hope
A season of wonder
A season of life

And with all the possibilities before me
I see the flowers have no bees
The birds have no food
The snakes thin and weak

How do i describe the darkness in my head on such a beautiful day

The birds singing remind me that i have no mate.

The dogs playing remind me i have no friends.

The flowers without bees to pollinate, is just the foreshadowing that life will eventually end.

And yet i stay alive, i. The dark despair, on this beautiful day, so bright and alive. It illuminates my darkest dungeon.

The deep dank dark despair that i almost never let out, this day just may crack open that  cellar door. How afraid i am of that  place, no one will ever know.


They cant ever know.

I cant speak the horrors, so they stay locked away, but sometimes a day like this comes, and the dark cloud over my head is lifted, to shine the bright light on my locked away darkness.

And it is a day like this where the yellow flowers are in bloom on the ever green trees and the birds sing, and there is not a cloud in the sky and the dogs play, and the possibilities of spring is everywhere

It is a day like this that my deepest darkest dungeon of despair gets to see the light of day,

And that light in such a dark place causes a pain that rivals the bitter cold of winter.

Biting, burning, bone-chilling, no escape.