bad music

And as I walk in the parking lot this rattling assaults my ears

loud

Over Booming Bass
Rattles emanating from a car parked

No way to avoid it I must walk closer to the noise and I find that each of my steps matches the over-amplified thump coming from that car.

I think to myself that it must be some punk-teenager thinking that he is making the world a better lace by sharing his shit music, and willing to fight you to prove it.

Or maybe it is some gang-banger, that wants people to look at him so he can glare back with the vile and evil look of a deranged homicidal killer.

Or maybe it is some kid from the ghetto trying to compete with the middle class that come to this shopping center, angry at his own misfortune.

Finally I am close enough and can't help but look,...

Look at the car to see who parks and has the intense selfishness necessary to pollute the air with this crap for music, played on a sound system that would distort a simple middle-C on a piano.

And to my absolute surprise I see no anger or threat, nor do I see selfishness.

I see a moment in someones life that will be remembered, a time that cannot be replaced, a moment of pure spontaneity and delight.

What I see is a boy in the front seat of a car bouncing and singing to the song while his father has joined in the sheer enjoyment of the moment, by singing the chorus with his son and rocking to the beat.

Talk maybe cry

and the adult child sits with her parents
most likely before church starts
the tension so thick it can be seen across the restaurant
her mom does not approve of her skirt
her dad does not approve of her choice of make up


mom and dad look at each other with the 50 years of marriage, they need not say any words
but the look which clearly communicates their intense disapproval of this child is felt deeply by the child
although a woman now in her 30's she still needs them
needs their love
needs their understanding
needs them to not look at each other that way, as if she was 10 yrs old and doesn't know what "that look" means

and she thinks to herself "why can't I just get the nerve to say what is so embedded in their look:
LOSER !
FAIL AT EVERYTHING
NOT MARRIED
NO RELATIONSHIPS
A JOB THAT SUCKS
AND HAVE NO FUTURE"

But her thoughts are broken by the breaking of the silence when her mom says "that's a colorful skirt dear, where did you get it?"
The Dad oblivious to his wife's cattiness adds injury to to the insult just thrown and says "It looks nice but don't you think its a little short?"

and with that the woman hears a pin drop on the other side of the restaurant.

and the three of them sit quiet, waiting for something to save them from this torturous morning. And for what seems like an eternity-was really only 30 seconds, before a little boy screams "I WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES, NOT EGGS!" the demand punctuated by a plate hitting the floor.

and the dad say "sounds like someone is a bit over stressed, maybe got up too early today and is still tired"

and the woman says, "If I did that you would have drug me to the car and beat my ass till I couldn't breath let alone talk, then you'd beat me again when we got home for making you embarrass yourself"

and the mom says, "now dear we were firm with you as a child, but it wasn't all that bad"

and the roles firmly embedded, the child in her 30's takes heed and says no more.

The abuse was real,

but no one talks of it, so it is always there,

a simple thing talking about the wrongs of the past, we as humans need that, we need to know others feel with-us, and if both are lucky tears will be shared.

but no one talks of the past, so it is always there,

and the woman sits with her parents before church the tension so thick it can be seen across the restaurant.