Hell teenage grounded

Hell.

I don't like being here

stuck here
it sucks here

I put myself here

and yet
my life is fucked

here

Sick and tired of the universe, 
listening to the next clean verse
i am soon gonna burst

I have nowhere to run to
And people think I have nothing to run from
but the flashbacks take me back to,..    

where I came from

I feel so dumb, 
unable to speak, a mute,  
A voiceless boy who feels like scum

lost in my present
with a past so rough
I don't really see how my future can be enough
but my future is coming sure enough

patience is a virtue, 

but it doesn't help me through
the hell I am NOW going through
right now
how
wow
pow
here comes yet another put down

Stuck in the middle of hell is where I have landed

a deep hole of despair, pain and depression

ungrateful, loser is what I have been branded

I can do nothing,..  not even ask a question

oh the pain of this life so troubled

I gotta get my shit strait on the double.

11 ( new schedule)

 I am scared.

The young addict confides to me.

The new schedule started about 10 weeks ago,

and now, the young addict has

eight weeks of new behavior under his belt.

well, it used to be new

therapy

group sessions

drug test

parent involvement

now it is normal, but it will soon end

The momentum of what is now normal will keep the young addict 

safe

safe for a week, maybe two

while the new schedule unfolds

but "new" takes time to become "normal"

and there is so much friction

a new behavior in motion will come to a stop much quicker than we want

and the young addict is scared of the "old schedule" 

scared of the the "old behavior"

so ingrained into his young body

so entrenched into his young brain

so deeply rooted in his emotions.

his tools for survival are  now new, 

new intellectual and logical, 

not yet rooted into his soul

and in the heat of emotion

he may forget he has a new tool

and may, instead use what he developed to survive

and fall back to his old schedule, 

that schedule that led him to the new schedule that he started about 10 weeks ago.