What is it?

And to split into pieces
work as a team to divide
manageable now
what was insurmountable now dinner
-
-
-
--- eating an elephant ---



Slight fold
then tear strait
large is now small
-
-
-
--- rip paper ---



upper and lower
sometimes bulging from top encroaches onto bottom
discomfort from the obvious split
-
-
-
--- a belt too tight ---



breath shallow
mind racing
chest tight
unknown future
much fear
-
-
-
--- consequence ---




Anticipate joy
fear of discovery
on edge of safety
mind racing
some fear
some excitement
story to tell
-
-
-
--- a teenage late night ---



glancing look turns to partial stare
partial stare becomes locked gaze
turned body to hide the obvious
try's not to be obvious
but can't break away from the stare
saddened when family sits far away out of site
---  _________________  ---

food court table at the old mall

gross and sticky late in the day

a film so grimy
a table so  small,
small and at a mall
a mall that is two generations past its prime

hundreds of drips of spit and drool.
mixed with the remnants of spilled soda
blood dripping from fresh teenage wounds inflicted by dare, control, or just plain picking off a scab

and the occasional puss from open wounds completes the experience of a food court table at the old mall

Wandering

and the heat of the day hangs in the air long after the sun sets

the wanderer seeking meaning finds none
he was told of a place that may help, but the place was devoid of emotion

a meaningless life is a life with no meaning

Meaning is purpose

so his life is without purpose
no purpose, like a gall bladder or tonsils should just be cut out.

a life cut out is like paper
like people cut out of paper

paper people

nothing to stand for
no ability to,.. even if the desire is there

the old ways no longer effective  add to the flimsy paper life created

even the person on top of a house of cards is better for he has support
support to stand on

until the stiff breeze comes.

I, am only thin paper not even able to stand.

bio

The magnificent stare that pinned me to wanting more
the words that felt so real and Heart-felt
the delicate touch down my back that means trust
the caress,
that delicate gentle touching,  tracing,... exploring up and down my torso, so delicately with your hand, felt electrifying.

Would that I could see you again..

but then you knew it  was not meant to be, 

to get the passion again I would do it all again
losing my friends
lying to my family
struggling through the hard times and all the chaos

just to get back to
loving times
passionate times,

but you knew that our relationship would end, 

you knew that soon I would think that,..

that,..

that,..

The sight of you is,
is ,..
is betrayal

Your exterior is as pristine as a Llandro figurine
perfect
smooth
beautiful to look at
Carefully glazed
Glazed to smooth flawless perfection

but appearance is all that you are

inside you are ugly
Ugly like the sight of  dead person
dead partially burned to death,
dead with some skin still hanging
dead with raw meat exposed like dog ran over by a car and ripped into two pieces.

inside you are stench
the smell of a taxi where the cabbie working all night in the heat with no air conditioner
the putrid stench of sweat mixed with tobacco, alcohol and bodily fluids, left by a multitude of lovers.


Would that I could see you again,
to have that loving touch
your perfect body.

would that I could see you again

see you again, to try to make you see the pain you cause
see you again, to feel my knees go weak
see you again
see you again

I know you will never change
would that I could see you again

I know you have destroyed so many before me
would that I could see you again

I know how to stop you
If  I could see you again

see you again
so I could pin you down

pin you down and tattoo warnings across that perfectly unblemished skin,

words like "toxic" on your hands so delicate.

words of "heartless" across your chest so perfect.

words of "emotionless" across your stomach so flat and smooth

words of "selfish prick" across your waistline where your perfectly fitting jeans fills me with lust.

and the last tattoo would be would be on  the most that most private, of privates, the part that betrayed me the most

it

it would be tattooed pitch black swirls on a background of yellow

with the words

word of

words of "Bio Hazzard" across your _______

toDad fromEthan

Dad

Thank you for coming back to me

It was never about the money or the house or the car, It was always you, and the way you make me smile and laugh and feel.

And its about how you think your phone is so much better than mine, funny how with my phone I don’t need a restore partition.

Its not about the presents I’m going to get, it’s the way you shared with me how far down your pants used to sag.

You were there for me, for my first heartbreak, you may think I wasn’t really listening, but after talking to you I felt better.

You many times act more like a kid than I do, sometimes you act like a parent, and you are always like my best friend.

Well I just wanted to say thank you for being here in my life.

Note to Ethan's dad from Ethan commissioned by ‘perception’ for Christmas 2012