and to be able to say
I was there
and I saw
and I felt
and I, made a difference
after the fact
is far more important than the momentary pleasure of my selfishness at your expense
yet it is the moment I live in
and somehow I forget the future was coming
and the guilt of the past
And the fear of the future
became so overwhelming
There was nothing else to do but shoot myself after the rampage was over.
