4/8

And life is hard whether you arr an any of a plant

Yet things work out says the lady in her 50's

4/7 the choice

And days have past with no commitmemt to  well considered concerning  comment i can make with my wirdd

Choice is the hard thing
What will i do
What should i eat
What should i where
Where should i go


The list is endless, but not so life
Life goes on but each of us will die
Death is avoided, at slmost all costs, especially if we have a choice.

Resessitare or not, iur intellect gous one way but our essence does not want to die.

Who should i meet
How can i hrlp, should i even try

Tryimg just causes more stress and the choices, keep on coming

4-2 a day late

procrastination - such a long word, how apropo.

The self inflicted stress caused by self-directed delay is overwhelming

my mind is whirl of chaos with the many things I need to do
so many needs
so many wants
 so many responsibilities
so many feelings
they come in as a crashing tsunami that is too large and too fast to imagine
all I can do is sit with my head in hands covering my eyes
but the darkness is no relief from the thoughts inside my head
I see people come in and out of the coffee shop, and wonder if their haste is for something really important or just their way of coping with or avoiding the tsunami in their head.

Wondering about them allows me to put off for later the current thoughts inside head.

4 -1 the fool

Today the first day of april
Day of fools
April fools day
I think back over some of my years and see with a stark reality like a spill of black paint on white carpet

How much of a fool i have been
And how much i still fool myself
Lie to myself
Fool myself
Hide from myself

The struggles seem to win over the accomplishments

But who am i to judge myself,
when it is so easy to fool myself.
I cant confide with myself.
Not when i lie to myself

And yet i know be true to thy self
Live in the moment to be one with thy self
But i guess i really dont like myself

Truth takes trust, and i dont trust myself.

Lie to myself
Fool myself
Hide from myself

Its all the same.

Happy april fools day.