my life is normal

my life is normal

i have a mom and a dad that have never lived together

my dad married a new wife, when I was little

and now I have baby sister,

my life is normal

I have two moms and one dad

I get along with my little sister

and now I have a baby brother

so,.. when I'm there its 3 girls to 2 boys

Girls Rule!

I will be 9 in a few months

so at my dad's I get to have birthday cake fiiiivvvee times every year.

my life is normal

I have different rules to follow when I am at my mom's than when I am at my dad's

just like there are rules for when you are at school like (stay in line) that are different from rules on the field trip to the children's museum (go explore, touch everything)

there are rules for when you are in the house, like (USE YOUR indoor voice) then when your outside you can talk normal

just like rules when you talk to adults are different then when you are are playing with your friends.

i have different rules when I am with my mom than when I am with my dad and other mom.

with my mom we have lots of secrets we can't tell my dad,

when I keep those secrets I feel special and important and I need to protect my mom

but with my dad and other-mom, . . . they never tell me to keep secrets

and I feel confused and guilty for keeping secrets

but, my life is normal

I am still in the first grade because I missed so many days of school

at my mom's each week there is a different uncle that visits

sometimes they play too loud all night long and sometimes they get into fights that last all night so,....I don't always get a lot of sleep and can't wake up in time for the bus to school.

the first 10 times I missed the bus I tried waking my mom to tell her so she could drive me to school

but since my mom has been up all night also she can't help me

so,...its really my fault I don't get to the bus stop, no matter how tired i am i really should get to the bus stop

my life is normal

when I go to my dad's

The first thing I have to do is take a bath, my other-mom washes my hair and we talk about the plans for the next few days, and sometimes I splash her with water and she splashes me back, . . . . . . . . once we splashed each other so much the water got on the carpet in the hallway.

I like the way I feel after a bath, my hair feels nice and soft, and the slight scent of soap on my skin, its like i am alive again and have no worries. and can do anything.

I like it when my other-mom brushes my hair as I sit in her lap, and

I really like the hugs and kisses from them both.

my life is normal

when I am at my dad's house they go outside to smoke cigarettes.

when I am at my mom's house she smokes inside the house and when the uncles are there

they smoke out of this big plastic thing that makes a gurgling sound, they sometimes cough and then laugh as they wipe a tear from their eyes,

then some times I see them in the living room putting their head close to the coffee table then sit up, I think they have the sniffles and are sucking it in ,. . . . .

Thats GROSS !

they should use a tissue like my other-mom tells ME to do.

A few weeks ago when we had that earthquake,

they let us out school early and when I got home my mom didn't know so she just slept through me knocking at the door. . . .

Its OK i know she gets tired . .

so,.. I went to my neighbor, they couldnt wake her either. so i just sat on the door step for, i guess 3 hours before she was able to wake up and let me in.

my life is Now NOT normal

for the past few months there's been an adult-my mom doesn't like-asking me and my teachers all sorts of questions, and my two moms stop talking as soon as i come into the room.

I must be in really BIG trouble so I try to be extra good.

I keep mom's secrets

Make it to the bus on time

do my school work and home work

am extra nice to my little sister

I don't know yet what id did wrong but it feels like it must be something really really bad.

my life is Still not normal

my dad and other-mom just told me that "A woman thats a judge helps adults make decisions that in the best interest of the child"

before I could ask "what does THAT mean?" they said that the judge decided i should live with them and not my mom.

then they tell me

I don't need to keep secrets,...

and I'll have a bed time,...

and I'll go to school everyday,...

and I don't have to take care of my mom,...

and that they will take care of me,...

and then I begin to cry,

uncontrollable sobbing and tears stream down my face

but I don't know why I'm crying but I just cant stop