happy christmas

And the woman tells her 15 year old son on the other end of the phone

" ... Dammit Seth its not that important. You don't need to be such a cry-baby"

and with the disappointment and guilt inducing tone only a mother can say, she finishes the conversation with "You should be ashamed of the way you are acting, IF, you cared about me at all you would not be acting this way."

With that he made one more comment and he hung up the phone.

And the woman that just crushed her 15 year old son on the phone, hangs up and cries.
cries tears of helplessness
cries tears of abandonment
cries tears of anger that has no resolution
tears of a mother when she realizes she is not protecting her child.

Uncontrollable sobbing for a while as she hears The Christmas Carol playing on television....

Less than a year ago the divorce was finalized, she and the father of their children had the courts memorialize what people told them was in the best interest of all concerns.

All their friends said that usually, the kids stay with the mom, and the dad get the kids for a bit of each month and holidays are split, so that over the years the adults needs are met.

The court did not disagree, but then the adults did not fight tooth and nail for anything, they just wanted out of each others life.

The father moved into the lover's house - a 5 hour drive away.

This is the first Christmas and per the agreement the boy was to be with his father.

When her son is with his father, she lies to herself that 15 year old boys would rather be with their dad's than their mom's, when the truth is:

 When a boy is 15 years old, he need both parents equally - it is very hard for a person to not be a child any more and at the same time not be an adult.

And yesterday the day before Christmas she, dropped Seth off and put him in the hands of that selfish bastard, that fucking prick who broke apart the family.
...
...
...

It is now Christmas day and the boy goes with his father to the store to get a few last minute items. While there,  the father runs into one of his friends and they toddled off to the bar for 'just one drink' - as the boy finishes the shopping, and takes the items out of the store.

Not seeing his dad back from the bar, the 15 yr old puts the items in the back of the pick up truck, shoots a text to his dad saying "lets go foods in the truck" and waited. and waited and waited.

An hour later he had caught up on face book and emails and texts to his friends.

and waited and waited

to his dad he sent a few more texts and called and left messages,  all of which went unanswered.

un-acknowledged,...

It was now dark, he was feeling lonely, scared and abandoned. He did not know how to get to his dad's house from the grocery store, and did not want to wait in the truck any longer.

The vulnerability, uneasiness and fear he was feeling came out as tears, while he was dialing his mom.

He started the conversation with "I don't know what to do" which led to him crying more as he unloaded his helplessness onto his mom,

She was trying to give him calming thoughts, but he was not hearing it, he just kept saying "its not fair"
"its not fair"
"its not fair"

Then she told him, "the courts decided, It can't be un-done"

He had let the emotion build too much and tears kept falling and he said "but mom, I want to be with YOU!"

And the mom overwhelmed by feeling helplessness to protect her child,
overwhelmingly frustrated by the injustice of the whole thing,
and the anger generated by that selfish bastard of a father explodes out!!!

 unfortunately, the explosion is felt by the person on the other end of the phone and she says:

"Just one more day, then you'll be here,... Dammit Seth today is not that important. You don't need to be such a cry-baby"

And with the disappointment and guilt inducing tone only a mother can say she finishes the conversation with "You should be ashamed of the way you are acting, IF, you cared about me at all you would not be acting this way."

And with that Seth said "why are you talking to me that way?" and hung up the phone.