Four dollars

And the pants looked good enough clean enough when I left the second hand store and my peoples commented positively

One dude said "cool, great find"

Another offered be four dollars more than I  paid for them.

And one girl said they are pretty, we all laughed at that one. I said pretty is for girls, you can say good looking or handsome for guys.

She slightly embarrased, stuck her ground and for the rest of the night called my pants pretty. I'm sure years from now we will call these my pretty pants.

But now,

Now I am standing in line at the grocery store..

And i reach into my pocket for my cash to pay.

Within the last hour, I put my last four dollars I have to last me till my last paycheck arrives one week and one day away, lucky me, I was the last employee to be let go.

But within the last four when I left home I folded the last few bills  with creativity so when I pull them out they seem like alot more than they really are, like people on a diet use plate size to trick themselves, or women on welfare with a fake purse and glass diamond ring. 

 Hungry I am, in the store buying top ramen

Top  Ramen the filler of empty stomachs 

Top Ramen that foundation to a meatless meal 

Top Ramen with some frozen vegetables is somewhat nutritious and definitely filling. 

 So in line I am with my two dollars worth of ramen, reach into my new, permanently named pretty pantots  pull out the imitation wad of singles, I so creatively folded a few hours ago.

 And I dig deep feeling for the last bit of money that will last me until my last paycheck arrives, and alass I find nothing but the hair on my leg and the hem of my last clean pair of underwear. 

 A hole in my pocket of the presumably new pretty pants plunges me to a predicament having lost the ability to pay for one week and one days worth of ramen.

Feeling a failure and deeply embarrassed, somewhat confused  and dejected

I look around for a solution,  

a plausable excuse for not having even two dollars.

the sweat now pouring from my brow

I dont know what to do

Dont know where to turn

As the person behind me buying his filet mignon and wine exhales in what is probably only impatience on his part

But I

I feel his one exhale to be an 

Exhale of disgust

Exhale of intollerence 

Exhales in pity 

I wish I could exhale, breath again so I am not frozen helplessly embarrassed and afraid.

I am frozen in a moment of panic.

All over my loss of my lousy last four fucking dollars.

I walk out of the store with no food and no four dollars.