Pepsi or Coke?

"Pepsi or Coke?" I say to the waitress, knowing the restaurant will have one or the other but not both.

she says, "Coke"
I say "fine".

I am a Pepsi drinker in a town full of Coke,
this adds a little more water to the levee that holds together my decrepit life.

The loneliness in my soul is a crushing weight,
the total lack of  human touch is inhumane
the friendly bumps
the manly pats
the best friend hugs
the lovers touch
now all a distant memory

I am the window that shows a sunshine filled day, but on the other side of the pane
is the bitter cold of the coldest day of the year.

I am the deceiver
deceiver of I'm OK
deceiver of happy life
deceiver of sunshine filled day,

then a chance encounter
handshake only
look into eyes, and talk
talk of safe things
talk of family
talk of comedy
no sadness
no tears
no sharing of real emotions

just talk to talk
talk to pass time
talk because
because we are human and need to talk.

but we are human and we need to share feelings too.

the loneliness so overwhelming there is
no end
no middle
no fresh start

there is just push on
another day
another empty night

no one to share secrets with
no one to share fears
no one to share lonely times

Loneliness so profound
It must be what the last dinosaur felt
last of his kind
no hope for the future
the end of an era.

waves of grief and pain mix with anxiety and push
push hard,
crushing my chest
crushing my will
crushing the sunshine filled day.

This beautiful sunshine filled day calls everyone to enjoy,
and I on the patio of this restaurant,

I sit alone
alone drinking Coke,

when all I really want to do
is to share
Share a  Pepsi.