Sunday, March 21, 2010

he is a smart boy

And the teacher said if he just tried harder

He is a smart boy very capable but he just doesn't do the work.

Every report card said the same thing,
politically correct bullshit even for so long ago
no one dare say:
"there is something wrong with your son"
he is dirty and smells of body odor all the time
he needs to brush his teeth daily, before he loses them all. His breath stinks.
his hair is an oily long rats nest.
what kind of parents are you!!
he is only 9 years old!!

and when he is 10 yrs old the teachers say
"he is a smart boy, but does not do the work"
Every report card mediocre, with the same comment.
and the nurse that sees him every day to give him Tylenol for his daily headaches
says nothing.
She tries to coax him to confess his secret.
He is a smart boy knowing consequences are to horrific,
so like a prisoner of war afraid of being electrocuted again,
he complies with the jail keeper and says nothing.

and when he is 11 yrs old one teacher dared to say:
"there is something wrong" for which she was rewarded with the chance to work for another school,
long ago upper-middle-class parents yelling and screaming
was a shackle on the hands of teachers.

He is a smart boy, and turns to Mr. Spock the fictitious character
that controls emotion, pushing it down deep below
where no pain can be inflicted on what was once an open gaping wound.
No one can see it now.

He survives by being the loner in the corner. and the teachers say:
"he is a smart boy, solid "B" student, he could easily get "A's" but he really needs more friends.

And when he is 13 yrs old things change, apparently hair above his groin stopped the nighttime rituals. But it was too late he is a shell-of-a-person, emotionless, indifferent actions scripted to conform but nothing felt, protection came from being numb. He finds another boy, they hang out together so the adults think they are friends, but they just use each other and the adult think that he has feelings.

And when he is 14 yrs old the hair now on his balls also, gave him a better escape where he had control and power, the adolescent game was better with fantasies. Which almost always turned to one sided pleasure.

"He is a smart boy, gets A's and B's in school and seems to have a friend or two." His parents say, "we did a good job"

But the fantasies would prove to turn him into a monster.

3 comments:

  1. This is a great piece of writting.
    I became more and more frightened by the adults blindness as the story unfolded, how many boys like this, I wondered, I know I don't know how many, I just know it's too many maybe.
    Thanks fpor your kind words.
    I woill follow your blog avidly from now
    Nick

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