turn left part 2

I got tired of being harassed by my parents all the time for the failing grades, even though I knew it could take but one weekend to catch up for the last 8 weeks, it just wasn't fun any more. Jerry thought it was the only way to live.

For me the drug usage stopped, except of course for pot, but that's not a drug no matter what the gov't says. Jerry continued.

Once, I swear, he took speed cut too heavy with rat poison, because the next morning he was doubled over in pain for hours after he woke up. I pleaded with him to just stick with pot. "man I'll get you speed to catch up at school, but,... Please don't buy from that guy again"



A few weeks later, I was going to spend the weekend at his house and he showed me a baggie of multi colored pills.

I asked "where'd you get those from"
"a new guy, over by the school" he said

"dude that's a lot of pills, where'd you get the dough?"

"he gave me free samples to see what I liked the best" said Jerry proudly.

We did not know what was what, or which was which, we knew some would bring us down, some would pick us up mix the right ones together you will feel both at the same time. Mix the wrong ones together and you could die.


"Jerry, just flush them man I got both Sensimilla and Red Hair you'll be flying after a few bongs."

"Yeah, but I want something different" he said.


I pleaded "man speed's OK. You don't know what's in there, remember what you got a few weeks ago, how do you know one of those is not real poison?" I then said "I'm sorry man, but I can't be here while your doing that, please just flush them don't ruin the night"


He spit out at me "man as fucked up as your life is you should be diving in, anything in here has got to be better than that hell hole you call home, don't be a scarred little fuck!"


I left his house and turned away from him and away from my house.


After wandering around for most of the night and with no place to go, I climbed in to his bedroom window, the one that from inside looks like it is locked, but he and I "fixed it" so it wouldn't lock, to get some sleep. We both woke up about noon.

I asked him what color pill and how did it feel and are you going to flush the rest. I really don't remember his response. The years of propaganda had sunk in I knew that pills is a bad way to go.


I told him, maybe out of fear, maybe out of responsibility, that I can't do unknown pills and that I gotta get out from my parents and that bag of pills won't get me, and if keep on taking them, you will eventually get me to take them and I can't let that happen.

I said in a quiet almost cracking from tears voice "I don't want to lose you Jerry"

He said "don't be such a downer,......its Saturday morning, we gotta enjoy the now, hell you could die at tonight's river bottom party"

And with that he went to his little baggie of pills and took two more, and swallowed them in front of me, in what felt to me like absolute betrayal.

My heart stopped beating and I nearly puked.

I had just lost my first real friend.

He kept me alive in fights, got me out of harm, got me laid for the first time, and now he is going down a road that I can not.

I felt helpless and scared and alone, very very alone.

With nothing else to do, I went out his front door and turned left to go home.