Reality is only perceived through our senses which are clouded by the filters created in our childhood. This blog is my attempt to be real, I share without explanation my perception of life. Some are old writings, some are new. Comment freely, ask questions. And I claim copyright on all works on this site, if you use something of mine, please share the profits, or at least leave a comment.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
some future
Imagine if you will a traveler in a car, he is headed for his next destination, his trunk is full of all the stuff in his life, all those thing you take with you from apartment to apartment, couch to couch, hoping at some point you can put the things you carry in your own place, a place known as home.
He is on a deserted road the land is flat, he can see for miles, and what he sees is nothing,, an abandoned shack here an unused telephone pole there, a road-sign full of bullet holes, no life, no people.
Then he gets a flat tire, and stops his car on the side of the road. Looking in all directions he can see where the earth curves down into nothingness. His cell phone has no signal, it is early evening, he does not know how to change the tire and there is no owners manual in the glove box.
He has seen the TV shows where they make getting a flat tire funny, and the shows where they make it horrific. He knows the truth is somewhere in the middle, so he begins. Not knowing exactly where to begin he starts by opening the trunk.
His trunk full of all that he keeps because it is important. He begins to empty out.
A small wooden shelf he made when he was 13 yrs old - he keeps because someday he can hang it on the wall for some future partner to dust.
His "finger chopping" magic trick, he keeps so he can teach some future child how to do magic for their friends like he did for his friends.
A picture of him when was 10 with his first dog, he keeps for some future time when he can look back.
His teddy bear he had since he was 7, it has been with him through all the hard times, and is still hugged on now and then he keeps for when he needs some future hug and no one is there.
And of course a few bags of necessities clothes, shoes, important papers, hats, belts and a couple of ties.
His trunk now empty he looks for the hidden compartments that hold the tire and the tools. Finding everything was not that hard, but how to use the jack and what do you do first takes some time to figure out.
After an hour or so he finally figures out how to do each step and in which order to do it. It is now dusk, that dark of the day that pretends it is light.
He gets the old tire off and then sits on the ground legs straight out and begins to put the spare on, he did not notice the very slow movement of the car, the dark of day tricked him into thinking tire changing can be a comedy, when the car softly landed on the ground it trapped his leg crushing it into the sandy soil he realized tire changing can be horrific.
Trapped not able to move, on a deserted road, he can see everything he kept because it was important, but can't reach any of it, nor touch the tools to save his own life.
The initial pain subsided by the shock, it is the loneliness that hurts the most, no one to help and even his teddy bear can make him feel better now.
It will be days before he learns his fate, and maybe it is better that he dies alone,
because if he survives, the amputated leg will be a constant reminder of how alone,
utterly soul crushing alone
he really is
and with trauma like that how is he to have some future?
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