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April 30 poems in thirty days

I am behind already, days late and lost
Simple things take so long for me
And fear rules

Friends i have none
Desire to be part of a group
Desire to belong somwwhere
Yet i let fear be my only and constant companion.

Disteactions abound and i know i need to stay focused, well not focused but present.

Fear get old and the stress is so high
Disassociarltion is the best sefense

Then no one can get in, notbeven fear

And being days behind is easy to explain
And not having friends makes sense
And not caring makes it easier to live one more day.

And today is day 7 of the tbirty days, but for me it is but day one

And rather than take the crwative path i, today at least, choose but to tap out some thoughts,

Cause emotions take some bravery, and fear stifles bravery
Fear stifles commitment
Fear prevents friendships
Fear causes stress and tye best escape is addiction, or dissociation, or eating, or sleeping

So unedited today is the first day of the 30 days of poetry

I wonder if there will be a day two?

And i wonder if i have any emotions left, to express??